I've been seriously questioning my life standing. While we all know tennis is my dream; we don't know what my current life is. I suppose my real question is, "What the hell am I doing?"
Day in and Day out I waste time doing nothing. Literally, nothing. I have no friends, and you know what, I'm sick of the crap that comes along with them; therefore, I don't care too much. Oh, how I long for Sex and the City friends. Obviously it still bothers me being alone all the time, but then I think how little I'm getting hurt, talked about or used right now and it makes me feel a-okay. Anyways, I could be spending hours on the court, rather than driving around. I could be serving. I could be drop-feeding to myself. I could be hitting with H or Dad. I could be calling up everyone in Knoxville to hit, but... I'm not. I mean I don't have any excuses. I don't have a job, friends or a life. I don't have obligations or bills to worry about. All I have is myself and nine hours from noon until 9:00 P.M. So, what the hell am I doing? I COULD be doing so many things, but I am not. I am not living my life, and I'm stuck in a day-to-day rut. Heck, I'm not even cooking dinner right now, A is.
How did I get here? How did I stop loving day-long battles on the court? But, most of all, how do I get back to me? I need to start living again and stop dreaming. So, here's to today, right now. Here's to the moment. This is the first day of the rest of my life, and I'm going to own it.
It's time to get my head on straight, make my dreams a reality, and to be alive again.
<3
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