IT'S THE COVER MONSTER! aka Vinny, attacking everything from under a blanket. It must be his favorite thing to do, because he starts snorting and kicking around like there's no tomorrow. He has been sick the last couple weeks, and it is wonderful to see him back to his old self. I love the little guy....as he attacks Scott's legs!!
I am disappointed in myself for not giving up facebook; I did for 3 or 4 days, but then something bad happened, and I used it to look and admire other peoples' newly blossoming relationships. Yeah, sometimes I do reminisce about our first few months together, before the stress of school and this depressing winter hit. And I refuse to say a good comment, due to the jinx (Jess and I have his insane problem with the 'jinx'; it proves to never fail in ruining a good moment). I will say that Summer is right around the corner, and we can both breath the fresh air we want to.
I started actually working out again, yay! I really love it. Too bad it's raining today, because Mae and I had planned a little jog before pilates--plus, I can't walk Vinny.
Did I mention how wonderful it is outside? It's too chilly, but I see leaves, tulips, grass, animals!! AH! Wonderful.
Anyways, geology lab final today, and I am ready to get it knocked out. I am doing so bad in school this semester; I think I have two C's. I think the winter and the stress have really combined. Plus, I have NO money, literally. I overdrew due to a confusion with the bank statement, and great, no one to teach last weekend or to train all last week. Great. I'm even more poor. Thank goodness it's almost summer--meaning I get to work and make a nice amount of $$.
Off to study. My goal today is to simply enjoy today. No stress.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
bubbles in the wind
Today has to be the most beautiful day thus far. I'm so grateful for the weather.
I have already worked out, walked Vinny, and now, I'm about to sit in my lovely (yes, I mean that) Northern European Art History class. Last night I printed out a new work out routine and a meal plan. I'm excited to truly be on track again... The work out killed me, and sadly, I couldn't go to yoga for more than ten minutes. Tonight, after I teach some tennis, Scott and I are going to go work out, again. Aka, he's going to play basketball, and I'm going to sit on the sidelines wishing I had the balls to play with the guys.......
I paused and forgot I was writing this at about 1 p.m. Now it is 6:30 p.m., and I am about to teach my clinic. Besides the sheets of pollen in the air, it feels wonderful. Fox Den is always quiet and relaxing, especially when I'm sitting on my home courts. I'm on my favorite court, in fact, in the shade. The breeze is just light enough that it is cooling me off--or maybe it's just that Fox Den has a protective bubble around it, making its weather the best in Knoxville.
When I walked Vinny at about 5:30, I let that time become my time to think. I let off so much steam, I felt so tranquil, but now the peace is going away. I'm having to remember problems, again. But, that's okay. I am working so hard to understand life and its little antics. Nothing is perfect, because perfect doesn't exist in REAL life. Perfect only exists in math and science type things. Something can always be better (or worse if that is what you wish). But things are not ever the same; each moment is different; life has its ups and downs, and that is just what I have to keep telling myself.
:) love love
I have already worked out, walked Vinny, and now, I'm about to sit in my lovely (yes, I mean that) Northern European Art History class. Last night I printed out a new work out routine and a meal plan. I'm excited to truly be on track again... The work out killed me, and sadly, I couldn't go to yoga for more than ten minutes. Tonight, after I teach some tennis, Scott and I are going to go work out, again. Aka, he's going to play basketball, and I'm going to sit on the sidelines wishing I had the balls to play with the guys.......
I paused and forgot I was writing this at about 1 p.m. Now it is 6:30 p.m., and I am about to teach my clinic. Besides the sheets of pollen in the air, it feels wonderful. Fox Den is always quiet and relaxing, especially when I'm sitting on my home courts. I'm on my favorite court, in fact, in the shade. The breeze is just light enough that it is cooling me off--or maybe it's just that Fox Den has a protective bubble around it, making its weather the best in Knoxville.
When I walked Vinny at about 5:30, I let that time become my time to think. I let off so much steam, I felt so tranquil, but now the peace is going away. I'm having to remember problems, again. But, that's okay. I am working so hard to understand life and its little antics. Nothing is perfect, because perfect doesn't exist in REAL life. Perfect only exists in math and science type things. Something can always be better (or worse if that is what you wish). But things are not ever the same; each moment is different; life has its ups and downs, and that is just what I have to keep telling myself.
:) love love
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Work, work, all week long.
The last week or so I have been taking Vinny on a walk/run every morning, afternoon and evening. I thought it would kill some of his energy, but he's just as crazy. I swear you can't unwind the dog. Anyways, Scott and I decided to take him to the play ground downtown, see if he liked it. Well, he LOVED it. He went down and up the slide a hundred times; he loved to climb all over the whole set. I love how childlike he is, how stubborn he is. We are both a bit obsessed with him--we even bought him a life-jacket for the summer.
Friday night sucked, to say the least. I won't discuss what happened, it would be rude of me, but it was terrible. I didn't sleep the entire night, and I had to work the next day from 9am-6pm. The good news is? It's over. It's fixed. Major breakthroughs happened; things are better. Am I still hurt? Yes. I will be for a long time, but I think it has helped me grow a little bit. I am the only person that can make me happy--the happy as a whole, not mood--and that is okay. Basically, the whole weekend was so stressful that I only got like 6 hours of sleep in over 48 hours. Now, the most stressful thing is getting 3 paintings done, when I've never painted for a grade or from an actual object in my life.....
I'm doing really well with my goals right now. I am working to get my life back to where it was, my body and mind. I am working to achieve what I have planned to do. By the end of the year, I want to be able to run 8 miles again... right now I'm at 3. I hope to go above and beyond the 8, and I wish I had someone who was willing to do it with me. I want to become a health freak and workout obsessor again. I think now is the best time to start, because I am reaching for who I want to be in life... making myself for likely to succeed at a goal I set.
Sadly, I am not asking my mom to work out with me anymore. I can't take the excuses or being blown off. It's embarrassing, it hurts, and it makes me feel unworthy for her time--which is not something I want to feel right now.
As I work harder and harder, I will blow off more steam. I will be able to manage who I am, how I feel and what I say. I just need a release agent other than food. I want to drop that bad habit. I want to exercise when I am down-in-the-dumps. But mostly, I want more that what I think I have. I want to work.
<3<3
Friday night sucked, to say the least. I won't discuss what happened, it would be rude of me, but it was terrible. I didn't sleep the entire night, and I had to work the next day from 9am-6pm. The good news is? It's over. It's fixed. Major breakthroughs happened; things are better. Am I still hurt? Yes. I will be for a long time, but I think it has helped me grow a little bit. I am the only person that can make me happy--the happy as a whole, not mood--and that is okay. Basically, the whole weekend was so stressful that I only got like 6 hours of sleep in over 48 hours. Now, the most stressful thing is getting 3 paintings done, when I've never painted for a grade or from an actual object in my life.....
I'm doing really well with my goals right now. I am working to get my life back to where it was, my body and mind. I am working to achieve what I have planned to do. By the end of the year, I want to be able to run 8 miles again... right now I'm at 3. I hope to go above and beyond the 8, and I wish I had someone who was willing to do it with me. I want to become a health freak and workout obsessor again. I think now is the best time to start, because I am reaching for who I want to be in life... making myself for likely to succeed at a goal I set.
Sadly, I am not asking my mom to work out with me anymore. I can't take the excuses or being blown off. It's embarrassing, it hurts, and it makes me feel unworthy for her time--which is not something I want to feel right now.
As I work harder and harder, I will blow off more steam. I will be able to manage who I am, how I feel and what I say. I just need a release agent other than food. I want to drop that bad habit. I want to exercise when I am down-in-the-dumps. But mostly, I want more that what I think I have. I want to work.
<3<3
Thursday, April 1, 2010
April Showers Bring May FLowers :)
Hello Beautiful Day! Yoga this morning.... :)! I'm feeling super today, eating my organic Kashi cereal--honestly better than dang CoCo Puffs--and drinking my organic tea. Back to health!
My camera came out of its dusty bag yesterday, and I was able to paint (if that's what you call it) outside. I can't say anything because I'm feeling so great. I wouldn't call it happiness, yet, but I am sure near it. I feel like most people classify happiness as a mood, but Scott made me see [happiness] differently.
When he would get upset, I would always say, "Why aren't you happy?" He'd quickly correct me, assuring me he was happy, just that his mood wasn't... umm... cheerful? Maybe he doesn't quite know what he was either (not the word cheerful, but what the whole statement meant). I just am excited to get back to who I am. It's spring. :)
I'm not writing much today, because I want to be outside. I want to water all my plants, and open the windows. I want to cross the street and take my camera out. Actually, before all that, I'm taking Vinny on a walk. Ahh, fresh air = <3!
Go outside today, guys! Go to the park, down the street, go somewhere!
Maroo.
My camera came out of its dusty bag yesterday, and I was able to paint (if that's what you call it) outside. I can't say anything because I'm feeling so great. I wouldn't call it happiness, yet, but I am sure near it. I feel like most people classify happiness as a mood, but Scott made me see [happiness] differently.
When he would get upset, I would always say, "Why aren't you happy?" He'd quickly correct me, assuring me he was happy, just that his mood wasn't... umm... cheerful? Maybe he doesn't quite know what he was either (not the word cheerful, but what the whole statement meant). I just am excited to get back to who I am. It's spring. :)
I'm not writing much today, because I want to be outside. I want to water all my plants, and open the windows. I want to cross the street and take my camera out. Actually, before all that, I'm taking Vinny on a walk. Ahh, fresh air = <3!
Go outside today, guys! Go to the park, down the street, go somewhere!
Maroo.
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