Yesterday, I was made fun of for talking about Vinny's play dates... lol. But, this morning--while on his walk--I realized that he legit needs a play date... as ridiculous as that sounds. He's like a child, when he saw this dog today (he had met him yesterday) he had a heart attack wanting to play. He also wanted to play with an unusually large lab. I love his outlook. He loves EVERY type of creature, but that doesn't mean he loves every dog he meets. I swear he has a sense (like most dogs) of which is bad and which is good; he's the same way with people. It's hilarious when he doesn't like someone that I don't like. It's endearing when he instantly loves who I care about. My favorite is when Tootsie, the attack dog from hell (if we're not there she hides behind the couch and barks), instantly loves my best friend or a boy I bring home.... when she growls, I know there's an issue. I love how little animals have such hearts, and how they trust their intuition far more than I ever will. I sound crazier than the craziest crazy right now, but they are so innocent and true. I would love to feel that innocence or truthfulness again.
But, even if I can't get that back, that doesn't mean I can't view the world a little differently. I know I'm cynical--getting better--but I didn't know how bad of trust issues I have, and I really don't know why I have such issues. I mean I realize why I have certain trust issues, but why can't I be like Vinny? If you hurt him he--after a few minutes forgives and forgets about it--and I also forgive instantly, but it's so difficult for me to forget. Sometimes, I hate remembering everything I'm told, because I accidentally will bring something that is said to me up, and then everyone thinks I am using that against them. I can feel myself changing for the better though... I can be the first to apologize, I can accept an old friend who hurt me, and I am feeling weight lift off my shoulders easier.
I think I should just relax and stop being such an uptight beeyotch.
oh well, :)
Beautiful day, wonderful breeze and good music... I'm happy.
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