Pride

     Ah, back to oatmeal, and I don't mean the kind you're thinking of--maple brown sugar, strawberries and cream, etc--I mean real, old-fashioned, no sugar added oatmeal. Healthy, healthy, healthy! (Which is much better than: hefty, hefty, hefty!)
     I have so much pride when it comes to my health, my body, my athleticism, but when it comes to school work, I just simply do not care. I have always had it easy in school, I never had to study once until my fourth semester in college--and it was for my anatomy/physiology 1 final. But, now that I am at UTK, it is different. I love the university, don't get me wrong--I think it is the best place, ever--but it is very generalized. I do not have a class over 30 or 40 people, but yet the teachers still teach the 'whole' rather than the individual. Difficult stuff. Now, the School of Art, is way different... I have never seen teachers so willing to help their students (minus one of my teachers, whom I only had for 1/2 a semester!!). Maybe it is just the general ed. courses at UTK that are, well, ironically general.
     So, here I am, left to work my ass off studying and with no direction at all. Here comes will-power. I guess this is just a way for me to take more pride in my school work. I want to, but not because I have to, because I need to. I think it's just another way to help me feel better and in turn, act better.
     The cold kinda set me back yesterday, I was super grumpy. But I am justify some of it with the nice hypoglycemic attack I had. AWESOME! But, that doesn't mean that I could be stand-off-ish to my parents.
     One thing that I am happy about it how I am rekindling friendships. I need friends, no matter what opposing things I have said previous to this. I was so cold, because I have been hurt by everyone... everyone. I am working to open my heart, again. I feel so amazing when I tell an old friend that I miss them, and you may be thinking, "she's 19, she doesn't have long-lost friends," but I do--I'm cynical, remember? I swear the grumpiness is rubbing off my our puppy, Vinny, because he used to be the happiest little guy to every dog, now he likes to show his teeth--unless it's his bff, Leland.
     I guess to wrap up, I have some goals for today: talk to someone new, call an old friend, and get my school work finished.
     :)