The cool air seems to make my mornings much better than the muggy summer heat, but it has the opposite effect on my heart.
While I'm not longing for A, I'm longing to not be alone. Waking up next to nothing makes me feel empty; seeing a picture of them together waking up makes me feel even emptier. And, it's hard to explain... While I don't care that they are together, it still feels like a slap in the face, and I also feel a slight bit of animosity towards their situation. I nearly sent her videos of us and pictures of us from Saturday night, but it's not even worth it.
Thank goodness for my best friends, though. K is coming over tomorrow for a girls day, and I'm going to her house after The Walk on Wednesday. C may come over tomorrow as well. Hair and face masks... joy.
J looked really cute today at work, my best friend's--C--brother, lol. We have amazing chemistry, and although I am not usually physically attracted to him, my heart beats hard for his personality. He's just calm. And sweet. And funny. Three things I haven't been around in a while with a man. We're just friends, for the most part, but he has slipped in a few kisses lately. He kisses so gently, and he hugs me so strong. Two things A has always failed to do.
And, as I type that, A starts blowing my phone up and calling me.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get away.
Xoxo
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Monday, September 24, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Runaround
20-something phone calls and at least 35 text messages later, A has finally calmed down.
I responded to 1 phone call and 2 texts. He is driving me crazy. He is threatening to show up at my house, my work, etc... wanting to know where I am. He can gtfo of my life.
My grandparents got beat up last week by people we have known literally forever, in a one-stoplight town... their hometown, at the church my great-greatgrandfather built. They have been in and out of the hospital for 9 days now. My grandmother is unrecognizable half the time and has a severe concussion. My grandfather, however, has no outer damage, but internally, he is falling to pieces. He has a catheter and is expending blood in his urine. Keep in mind, my grandparents are in their early 60s, and to go from fully functioning people who travel week to week, to people who are helpless has to be so demeaning.
My best friend's father had a heart attack... she is in California on vacation, and I nearly had a breakdown when she told me. Her dad happens to be J's dad, too.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. I'm just trying to see the light.
xoxo
I responded to 1 phone call and 2 texts. He is driving me crazy. He is threatening to show up at my house, my work, etc... wanting to know where I am. He can gtfo of my life.
My grandparents got beat up last week by people we have known literally forever, in a one-stoplight town... their hometown, at the church my great-greatgrandfather built. They have been in and out of the hospital for 9 days now. My grandmother is unrecognizable half the time and has a severe concussion. My grandfather, however, has no outer damage, but internally, he is falling to pieces. He has a catheter and is expending blood in his urine. Keep in mind, my grandparents are in their early 60s, and to go from fully functioning people who travel week to week, to people who are helpless has to be so demeaning.
My best friend's father had a heart attack... she is in California on vacation, and I nearly had a breakdown when she told me. Her dad happens to be J's dad, too.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. I'm just trying to see the light.
xoxo
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