It's strange how it has ended so quickly. But, I suppose it takes two. I guess it wasn't meant to be, not right now at least. We are both so defensive, and things won't fix until we can see both sides. I feel like I can, I do, but he does not feel that way. It's funny how 15, 20, 30 years ago, kids were married with kids at our age, but for some reason we are not expected to be mature enough to handle a living situation. Maybe what my mom says is right. She tells me that if one of us was 25, it would have worked out just fine, but because we are both kids, it won't. We are selfish, but we are selfish in different ways. I haven't stayed in our place for 5 days now. It's hard to go back, because I love it. I love the decorations, I love the furniture, but sadly the furniture is his. Basically meaning that I won't be living there within the next few weeks. Hopefully, I'll be living in a loft, not alone, but I'm screwed money wise. If I did stay in our condo, I'd have to buy furniture, and pay rent and electricity by myself. If I move in with a girl, I have to pay one solid fee. I think the loft, especially come winter-time, will end up better money-wise, but it will still be hard. It's also hard knowing that we aren't strong enough to fix things... once again my mom calls it maturity. I just hope things work out. It's hard for me to say, "What ever happens, happens." A little over a year ago, I didn't give a rat's ass what happened. Now, it's like my life is either: A) going to suck with him, B) going to be fantastic with him, C) be fantastic without him, or D) suck without him. Awesome choices, considering that 'B' and 'C' seem far fetched. Ironically, 'Don't Stop Believin'" just came on. HA. I wish I could chill out, and let things flow. But, then again, I wish I was 6 years old, and all I had to worry about was making sure my mom didn't find the grubs I hid under my bed (I didn't realize she'd notice the smell). I also just found out that UTK took off 15 of my credit hours, making me not a junior... um bullshit? Yes, I think so. Mom, can I just get my associates? I wish I could ditch school (money allowing) and travel across the world hahahaha. Such a Cameron I am.
P.S. No spell check; don't judge me. ha
P.S.S. My nails are growing out!! Fantastic!! And, I actually fixed my hair yesterday! Oh, yeah!
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