Dear Mom,

I know I've been a shit head, well, for most of my life. I know I'm a little too wild, and that I have absolutely no set direction for my life. I know I should be in school, but I also know how much I dislike it. I know I should hug Dad more, and tell him I love him. I should say 'thank you' more often, just to let you know how must I truly appreciate you. I know I have changed a lot this past year and a half, and I know it's been hard on you. I know I probably should not have randomly moved to Italy, and I know I should call your dad more often. I know it kills you that Bobby and I rarely talk since that one day. I know you think A's a sketchy choice, because of the psycho woman that will be in his life forever more. I know you don't know how much I love you, and you probs think I am an ungrateful little shit still. But, what you don't know, is that everything you have ever said to me, good or bad, is stuck in my head. I hear you all the time, and you play a role in most my choices. I remember all the little things from when I was a kid with you. I remember how when we went to Fort Sanders, I'd always watch you in the work out classes, and you never knew it. I loved how you wore a GIANT t-shirt, especially the one with the muscly man... I think it was Aaron's, and how you were the tight leggings. I swore you were the only mom who could pull off the look. I remember at the beach, I would always be rearing to go at like, um 6 a.m., and we all know you aren't exactly a morning person, lol. I remember Christmas morning starting at 3 or 4 a.m. I remember our old love-seat, the grey one, and I never knew the purpose of it, but you and Dad seemed to like it. I remember when you got the Black 626, and you were late picking me up from school; I thought it was so cool when I saw you driving through the parking lot. I remember when you, for once, let me put make-up on you, and obviously I chose to put the most obnoxious blue eye-shadow ALL over your eyes. I remember when we had "the talk", and I remember thinking you're a total idiot for not realizing that being around Sanner, Tyler and Bobby had already taught me everything... including how to break someone's arm, leg and, um, neck. I remember the OLD back-deck, and when you played Bobby and me, or tried to play us, in some tennis on the court behind the house; I also remember wondering why you were so awkward when you moved, lol! Clearly, I was a shit since I popped out. I remember the times I made you cry, and I remember the last time you tried to physically control me; I laughed... You did not, lol... I was 17, and I had a few inches and a couple dozen pounds on ya. I remember faking being sick, constantly, and I know you had to know, but you never seemed to care. I remember those really awful love books you used to read, and when I was like 7, I decided to read one, because I wanted to show you how smart I was.... you just got pissed, lol. I remember the 4-H dress that "I" made, aka, you made, and I remember how pissed you got when I wanted to give it to someone and not wear it, but mom, that dress woulda cramped my style. I remember the day I got my license, and I was beyond pissed, because you wouldn't me drive to practice from Strawberry Plains... even though YOU WERE IN THE CAR! I remember how you let me drive to Fox Den in the mini-van... when I was 15... alone... a lot, lol. Yeah, I drove with the music up reallllllllll loud, and all the windows down, and punched the gas too hard. I remember the look on your face when I realized where I was at the hospital, and I remember hating you for making me get a shot, because I still kept puking. I know how much I wanted to kill him, when he hurt you, and I know I will never see him the same. I know how much I wanted to kill her, and I still do... don't worry, I throw the heavier medicine ball extra-hard to her... even made her break a nail once. I know, no matter how much we fight, you are still my moose, and always will be. I love that I have your wild spirit, and Mamaw's old-fashioned soul. I love the values you have taught me, and that I am am a (sometimes) Southern Lady, because of you. I know I'm here and you're there, but I'll be home soon, and I cannot wait to demolish some calamari, and make you come to the track with meaty-meatwad and me.

I love you, Mom. I just don't know how to tell you or show you just how much I do.
<3